Coach Clay
This blog is where I write out loud about the things I’ve been thinking, seeing, hearing and reading. You can think of it as a sort of first draft of what is currently percolating through my mind.
I am a writer, speaker, and coach; former U.S. Army Infantry Officer, a fellow of the Royal Geographical Society, and a graduate of the United States Military Academy, West Point.
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In Graham Greene’s novel, The Heart of the Matter, one of the main themes is that you can never really know another person. We can guess at who they are. We can judge them by their behavior or the words they speak, but unless we are them, we can’t know them exactly as they are down to their tiniest of thoughts.
I would argue that those who have not taken up the implied challenge in Socrates’ famous edict: ‘The unexamined life is not worth living,’ probably don’t even know themselves all that well either. Those who have not taken up the challenge have not done the necessary self-inquiry to challenge who they think that they are, especially when you consider where our beliefs about the world and about ourselves come from.
How many of your core beliefs have you challenged through unassumed reasoning? As Morpheus asked Neo: “Do you think that’s air you’re breathing?” How do you know? How do you know anything about yourself if you don’t challenge the assumptions and beliefs you use to guide your life?
So here’s me laying down the gauntlet to you today:
Pick one of your core beliefs or assumptions about yourself and examine it. Who did you inherit the belief from? How do you know it’s true? Is it still a valid assumption or belief? Does it help or hinder you?
 Do you suffer from procrastination?
I know I do big time. I can usually come up with a ton of reasons, good reasons, mind you, for not sitting down to write that novel I’ve been meaning to start, or to empty my inbox which is stacked a mile high with stuff that needs attending to, or to write that prospecting letter that I keep pushing to the side. And since the reasons sound valid, I take them as facts and put off doing what I had good intentions on doing.
“Begin at the beginning,” the King told Alice, “And go on until you come to the end: then stop.” This is the approach I used to take when beginning a new project or starting a new task, especially my writing. I felt that I needed to write the perfect first sentence and all else would flow from there. The trouble with that approach is I could never write the perfect first sentence, so the writing project stalled, and I would come up with a host of good reasons to avoid facing the blank page again, putting off my writing projects indefinitely.
Now, instead of beginning at the beginning, I start anywhere. All starting points are equally valid. Armed with that little nugget, I have been able to release my creativity and begin because I am not bound by linear thinking. I can work asynchronously and then bring it all together in edit and revision mode.
So the next time you find yourself procrastinating because a task seems to big or hard to start, just make a quick list of what needs to be done, pick the first one that comes to your mind and start there.
My wife thinks I’m crazy. My friends shake their heads in bewilderment. Even the cats look at me funny.
Why?
Because I get up in the morning between 4:00 – 4:30am each day apart from the weekends when I generally get up between 5:30 – 6:00am.
Getting up at such a crazy hour for me is the best time of the day because nobody wants anything from you at 4 o’clock in the morning. The phone is not ringing. The kids are not fighting. The wife is not reminding me to do something I’ve forgotten to do around the house. Yes. 4 o’clock in the morning is a brilliant time. It’s “Clay” time. And it allows me to spend two to three hours reading, thinking, and/or writing.
I am not alone in this sentiment. George Berkeley, the English empiricist philosopher, proposed the same idea. He suggested that a person who wants to obtain self-knowledge should “spend regularly and constantly two or three hours of the morning in study and retirement.” He emphasized that spending two or three hours out of 24 in private is minimal.
In a letter he wrote to John Percival. He wrote: “there is a person whose acquaintance and conversation I do earnestly recommend unto you as a thing of greatest advantage: you will be surprised when I tell you it is yourself.”
If you want to obtain self-knowledge, you have to spend time with yourself. It’s not enough to be good at perceiving and imaging and making observations about the world. To be of value to others, you must turn inward.
Now I know I have some friends who are terrified with the thought of spending time with themselves, but that is another story. And I have another lot of friends who are quick to say that they don’t have time to spend on themselves. Well to that group I say try getting up an hour or two earlier each day. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done for yourself and how connected you’ll feel. Once I’ve had my “Clay” time then I don’t mind what the busy world has in store for me for the rest of the day.
The Merovingian said it best when he said: “How can you ever have time, if never make time?”
I have often been a cheerleader for creating a personal vision, a lofty pie in the sky goal to which one could aspire to, if not always reach. A vision is meant to give direction to human energy. It’s like you can wake up in the morning and know that the things you do that day in some way, shape, or form contribute to moving you toward your vision.
The logic goes that if you have a clear vision, you can streamline your life. When deciding to do something, you can take a slight pause and ask yourself: ‘does this move me toward my vision or does it move me away from my vision?’ If it moves you away from your vision, then you have to ask yourself an additional question: ‘should I be doing this if it takes me further away from vision?’
Creating a compelling vision is the key. You want something that is going to get you out of bed in the morning fired up and ready to face the adventures of the day ahead. Otherwise, what is the point?
I like the words of Chief High Eagle of the Sioux people:
“In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person’s vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone’s heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.”
And as Carl Jung said: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
My personal vision has always been to master the art of living as echoed in this passage I borrowed from the Zen Text:
“The person who is master in the art of living makes little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their mind and their body, their education and their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence and grace in whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing. To them, they are always doing both.”
Imagine that, to be so in love with life, so in love with what you are doing, who you are with that nobody can tell the difference between your work and your play, your love and your religion, your education and recreation…
That is what I aspire to. That is my vision.
Chief High Eagle hones the final point I want to make: “The mere possession of a vision is not the same as living it, nor can we encourage others with it if we do not, ourselves, understand and follow its truths. To be blessed with visions is not enough…we must live them!”
 I am in a hotel room in London. I’m on the 9th floor with a fantastic view of the city lights. The London Eye is visible off to the right. A full moon hangs low in the sky competing against the multitude of lights that make up the London city skyline. I am down here to attend a marketing seminar. It’s funny because you think you know every thing there is to know about marketing yourself, but there seems to always be something else you feel you could learn that will get clients coming through the door. There is meant to be over 300 people attending the seminar, so if nothing else, it should be a good opportunity to do some networking and make a few new contacts.
Last night I held the inaugural Cafe Dialogues at Rhubarb. I wasn’t sure what to expect. It’s hard to imagine that there are many people out there who are interested in joining a philosopher’s club. So I was pleasantly surprised when a good number of people responded with interest. And I was even more surprised when people actually showed up on the night! It was fantastic. After setting the context for wanting to start a philosopher’s cafe, we fell naturally into exploring several issues that were of concern. We had several lively debates ranging from the impact of social media, like FaceBook and Twitter, is having on real face to face socializing to whether there is a such thing as divine purpose.
The most beautiful thing about the evening for me was that we were just a group of ordinary people talking about issues that are playing out in this human drama we call life. We had beer. We had wine. The only thing missing was the togas. I am looking forward to the next Cafe Dialogues, which will be in February. I’ll post the date here as soon as I know.
 Imagine you are standing in a room. Your father walks into the room looks you in the eyes and hands you a gift. What is it?
Repeat the same exercise and imagine the following people:
Your mother
Your brother
Your sister
Your grandfather
Your grandmother
Your priest, rabbi, pastor, or spiritual leader
The first boy/girl you had a crush on
I am on a train headed home after 4 days on the road. Yesterday was the culminating exercise of the team building event. We put a 100 people through an Antarctic themed orienteering challenge across Hamburg. My station was the Hjelper sled assembly and man haul. In case you are wondering what a hjelper sled is, it is a device that can constructed out of a wounded skiers skis and poles. There were a total of 30 points spread out across Hamburg. The overall event was a huge success. It was intense, but fun. And the teams got an opportunity to learn more about each other and build relationships to take back into the office.
Hamburg, Lindner Hotel, 23:49hrs – We spent most of the day prepping for the main event which takes place tomorrow. You can plan only some much from the comfort of your desk, but it isn’t until you get your feet on the actual ground that the plan can be fully realized. And that is just the plan, execution of the plan is a whole other story. I at least got a chance to see some of the city. Par, one of the facilitators I am working with, and I needed to pick up some last minute supplies – stationary, duct tape, baubles, and something to stop the spikes on the bottom of snowshoes from tearing up the ballroom floor of the St Pauli Football Club.
I am amazed that Hamburg is Germany’s second largest city and yet it doesn’t feel like a big city. It’s clean, ordered, and the people are friendly. I must have gotten used to the cold veneer the English put out toward strangers because it shocked me how nearly every German that came in close proximity to me, said hello or guten tag. Some, it seemed, even went out of their way to say hello. Saying hello to strangers, I think, is a very civilized thing to do, especially when said with genuine enthusiasm.
We prepped right up until 18:00 just in time to give the brief at 18:15 for 100 people. The briefing took about an hour and the end of the brief marked the beginning of the challenge. Most everyone seems up for the it. So let the games begin.
I have about an hour left before my taxi arrives to take me to the train station.
I see two ladies walking back from the school run. They are walking side by side, each pushing a baby stroller. They look calm and at peace through the looking glass that is my living room window. I have a sudden moment of clarity. These ladies are doing what they were meant to do, what they were biologically programmed to do by nature – to protect and nurture their young so that their young can grow up and feel the same biological urge to find a mate, make babies, and protect and nurture them so that they can, in turn, do the same. Just as their parents did, and their parents parents did before them for generations. Every thing else we do is fluff to pass the time between moments of creations.
My taxi driver arrives on time. He is an an affable fellow. We engage in some small talk. He tells me about the latest round of snow we are expecting to get tomorrow. I’m glad it’s not today.
I wait in Costa Coffee above the departure lounge in Heathrow Airport. So far the timings have been perfect. The cabbie arrived on time. The train arrived on time. The second train arrived on time and I am here 2 hours before I need to be here. But I am a mobile warrior, which makes any place my office. I have my macbook. I have my iPhone. What else do I need? Dave and the other guys should be joining me shortly. Until then, I am passing the time emailing, facebooking, writing, and reading Gerald Weinberg’s book, Wienberg on Writing.
Wheels up at Heathrow 19:55, an hour and half later and I am in Hamburg, Germany. The airport is clean and efficient. It’s also relatively empty compared to Heathrow. There are five of us, one to many to catch a single cab, so we have to take two. We encounter our first hitch of the day when the cab driver asks us where we are going. Dave can’t remember the name of the hotel. I never bothered to check. We spend nearly 10 minutes scrambling to find the hotel details. Dave has a map of Hamburg and a general idea of the area the hotel is in so we jump in the taxis and hope for the best. We eventually find the place – the Linder Hotel on Neander Strasse. It’s a posh hotel not far from St Michael’s Cathedral. I am impressed with the room. It’s like a mini studio flat.
We drop our stuff off in the rooms and then meet for a quick nightcap. We tell a few war stories to deepen the rapport amongst the group. War stories told, we call it a night. Tomorrow’s events kick off at 0800.
 I want to understand the whole of the world. I want to write for people like me who want to explore the world in a thoughtful and intelligent manner. Not blind devotion. Not insane fanaticism. Only thoughtful seekers of truth.
My internal mental alarm clock went off at 0500. I wasn’t ready to get up. I dozed off again until 06:00. I did some free writing this morning instead of following the meditative prescription I have been engaging in since the beginning of January. I felt the need to check in with my Higher Self to see what is going with me and this downshift in mood I have been experiencing over the last several days. Perhaps my stomach gave out on me last Thursday as a signal to slow down and do nothing for a couple of days except sleep. I feel better for it.
The usual suspects were in the gym today. Bart is back after some time spent in Fort Lauderdale over the holiday season. I changed up my playlist for this work out. I listened to five of my favorite versions of Bob Dylan’s classic, All Along the Watchtower. The song has been stuck in my head since hearing Bear McCreary’s version of the song in season 3 of Battlestar Galactica, the boxset of which I watched during my two days of illness and the subsequent couple of days of recovery last week. Now, like the final 5, I can’t get the song out of my head. I know that Bob Dylan wrote the song during a period of his life when he was recovering from a motorcycle accident. During his recovery, his interest in religion grew. Life threatening accidents seem to have that affect. The lyrics to All Along the Watchtower contain echoes of the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 21, verses 5-9. Listening to the lyrics I can see God and Satan as the Joker and the Thief having one of their numerous conversations about the fate of mankind. “There are many among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate. So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.”
I finalized my travel arrangements to Hamburg. I’m planning this thing like a military operation. Let’s see if it goes down like one. The taxis is booked for 12:00 that should get me into Leamington in time to catch the 12:29 train to London Marylebone. If all goes smooth, I should arrive in Marylebone for 14:00hrs. A quick tube across to Paddington Station, and I should be able to just catch the Heathrow Connect for 14:33, which should put me in Heathrow Terminal 1 for 15:00. Of course that is 2 hours before the 2 hour check in time, but hey, I figure I am a coffee house writer type, in between my modes of travel, I can find a cafe, sip black coffee, and write, right?
I had a little foray into Leamington, nothing there but people to-ing and fro-ing from one place to another seemingly unaware that we are hurdling through space on this big blue marble with barely any comprehension as to why. Many of us make up our own reasons, our own truths; others follow someone else’s reasons and truths. So that we don’t feel totally insane we try to gather or gather around us as many people as we can who harbor the same point of view as our own.
I pretty much spent the evening packing for Hamburg. I want to travel as light as possible. I hate lugging around a big suitcase. However because of the nature of the work I will be doing, I need to bring a lot of my outdoor gear – stuff to keep me warm and dry. Then of course I need evening attire, so my bag is bigger than I would want it to be. The other reason I wanted to keep it small is because I have to lug whatever I pack down to and around central London, and I am using public transport to do it.
I can’t decide whether to bring Mark Vernon’s Plato’s Podcasts: The ancient guide to modern living or Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy’s, The Laughing Jesus: Religious lies and gnostic wisdom with me for reading during the 8 to 9 hours of traveling and waiting around I’ll be doing tomorrow and on the return Friday. I’ll probably take The Laughing Jesus considering the collusion of my thoughts led me to Timothy and Peter’s work this morning and since there is apparently no such thing as coincidences, I cannot ignore the signs. Timothy Freke it is.
The hour is getting late, perhaps it is time for me to sign off now.
Vaya con Dios. And thanks for reading.
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Additional Resources
The Laughing Jesus
Plato’s Podcasts: The Ancients’ Guide to Modern Living
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