(Neil del Strother)

Back in January, I posted a short review of The Flower in the Desert, by Neil del Strother.  Recently, I had a opportunity to interview Neil about the book and his inspiration for writing it.

Clay: What is the book about? Neil: The story is simple. My book is about a boy growing into a [...]]]>

(Neil del Strother)

Back in January, I posted a short review of The Flower in the Desert, by Neil del Strother.  Recently, I had a opportunity to interview Neil about the book and his inspiration for writing it.

Clay: What is the book about?
Neil: The story is simple. My book is about a boy growing into a man, and a man growing through his life. It is about his trips into the desert and what he finds…and what he leaves behind.

At another level, it’s about that place of meaning, of being, of becoming, that all of us know…even if we’re not always consciously aware that we know it. It is the mystery, and each of us brings our own experience and heart to it. My hope is that my book creates a space where this place is felt.

Clay: What inspired you to write the book?
Neil: Many things.

One is an experience I had around twenty years ago now, where I became the plants, the air, the earth, the moon and the stars. It sounds implausible I know, but for a short while (far too short – I was scared I was dying) I was everything.

Another is simply my experience of life. The rhythm, the unfolding, the very slow coming to terms with my many imperfections (I wish this would get a move on!), the gradual and growing awareness that there is so very much more than me and yet nothing more at all.

Clay: If each book is a journey, what journey are you enticing the reader to take?
Neil: Every reader is already on his or her own (and our shared) journey. There is no other journey that can be made. I wonder is it even a journey at all? In the awareness is our unfolding freedom. It’s often a challenge.

Clay: You wrote the book as an allegorical tale, allegorical stories are meant to teach us lessons about how to live, what is your tale teaching us about ourselves and our relationship with the world and each other?
Neil: An essential meaning in my life has been and is about opening; about becoming aware and letting go of my many unhelpful (and often fearful) beliefs and patterns…and anything and everything else that keeps me from a connection with wholeness. I know this might sound like a load of old cobblers. Ultimately it isn’t about words, it’s experiential. For me it’s a long old road.

My experience is that I open that much more into the space each time I manage to let go part of my personal baggage. It’s a place of individual and shared wholeness. I believe this is the same for us all. It is on the cusp of this space that we may meet our deepest fear – the fear Marianne Williamson (and Nelson Mandela) have spoken about: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” I feel this is essentially a fear of losing ourselves, of disintegrating, into the whole. We are nothing; we are everything.

I hope in some small way (actually, I hope in a big way) that my book speaks to every reader of their greatness. I have written no words for this, it is about our individual stories dancing in the spaces my words leave alone. A lot of people have told me what they feel my book is about…they are right, even though it’s often been the first time I’ve realised it.

Clay: Tell us a little bit about your background.
Neil: My childhood was not altogether easy, although I have heard many many people speak of childhoods a great deal worse. I was, to an extent, emotionally neglected and I learned of the emptiness that this can bring. I was also lucky enough to learn just a little of love from my grandmother and her friend Ms Barnes.

It took me some time to find my feet as an adult. When I left university I worked in a range of jobs trying to find one that felt right for me. None did. My greatest loves were football and writing and, as I wasn’t signed up by Manchester United or the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion (their loss), I drifted somewhat tardily into journalism. I freelanced for papers and magazines before finding a niche writing about education for consultancies and government departments.

I have a degree in Politics and American Studies, an MA in Journalism and a Dip Psych. I am a qualified, if non-practising, Journey Therapist (www.thejourney.com). I also have some experience of shamanism, attending workshops and taking part in healing ceremonies with the San Bushmen in Botswana.

Clay: What attracted you to write a book of this kind?
Neil: Perhaps it sounds daft, but this book wanted to be written…it had been waiting within me for some time.  I finally got around to writing the first draft during the weeks that I walked the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, an ancient pilgrimage route across Northern Spain, a year or so ago.

Clay: Is the book a part of some greater spiritual awakening?
Neil: I hope it is part of a greater spiritual awakening that is happening within all of us. We all know that we need to step away from the extraordinarily destructive and life denying actions of our current human world into a place of greater love and reverence for life and our planet.

Clay: Anything else you would like to share?
Neil: Yes, when I write I sound a darn site wiser than when I speak (and act). Or a great deal more pretentious. Take your pick!

Clay: Thanks Neil.

To find out more information about The Flower in the Desert, visit the site here.  You can also download the first chapter and experience Neil’s wonderful book for yourself.

I know I do big time.  I can usually come up with a ton of reasons, good reasons, mind you, for not  sitting down to write that novel I’ve been meaning to start, or to empty my inbox which is stacked a mile high with stuff that needs attending to, or [...]]]> Do you suffer from procrastination?

I know I do big time.  I can usually come up with a ton of reasons, good reasons, mind you, for not  sitting down to write that novel I’ve been meaning to start, or to empty my inbox which is stacked a mile high with stuff that needs attending to, or to write that prospecting letter that I keep pushing to the side.  And since the reasons sound valid, I take them as facts and put off doing what I had good intentions on doing.

“Begin at the beginning,” the King told Alice, “And go on until you come to the end: then stop.”  This is the approach I used to take when beginning a new project or starting a new task, especially my writing.  I felt that I needed to write the perfect first sentence and all else would flow from there.  The trouble with that approach is I could never write the perfect first sentence, so the writing project stalled, and I would come up with a host of good reasons to avoid facing the blank page again, putting off my writing projects indefinitely.

Now, instead of beginning at the beginning, I start anywhere.  All starting points are equally valid.  Armed with that little nugget, I have been able to release my creativity and begin because I am not bound by linear thinking.  I can work asynchronously and then bring it all together in edit and revision mode.

So the next time you find yourself procrastinating because a task seems to big or hard to start, just make a quick list of what needs to be done, pick the first one that comes to your mind and start there.

Why?

Because I get up in the morning between 4:00 – 4:30am each day apart from the weekends when I generally get up between 5:30 – 6:00am.

Getting up at such a crazy hour for me [...]]]> My wife thinks I’m crazy. My friends shake their heads in bewilderment. Even the cats look at me funny.

Why?

Because I get up in the morning between 4:00 – 4:30am each day apart from the weekends when I generally get up between 5:30 – 6:00am.

Getting up at such a crazy hour for me is the best time of the day because nobody wants anything from you at 4 o’clock in the morning. The phone is not ringing. The kids are not fighting. The wife is not reminding me to do something I’ve forgotten to do around the house. Yes. 4 o’clock in the morning is a brilliant time. It’s “Clay” time. And it allows me to spend two to three hours reading, thinking, and/or writing.

I am not alone in this sentiment. George Berkeley, the English empiricist philosopher, proposed the same idea. He suggested that a person who wants to obtain self-knowledge should “spend regularly and constantly two or three hours of the morning in study and retirement.” He emphasized that spending two or three hours out of 24 in private is minimal.

In a letter he wrote to John Percival. He wrote: “there is a person whose acquaintance and conversation I do earnestly recommend unto you as a thing of greatest advantage: you will be surprised when I tell you it is yourself.”

If you want to obtain self-knowledge, you have to spend time with yourself. It’s not enough to be good at perceiving and imaging and making observations about the world. To be of value to others, you must turn inward.

Now I know I have some friends who are terrified with the thought of spending time with themselves, but that is another story. And I have another lot of friends who are quick to say that they don’t have time to spend on themselves. Well to that group I say try getting up an hour or two earlier each day. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done for yourself and how connected you’ll feel. Once I’ve had my “Clay” time then I don’t mind what the busy world has in store for me for the rest of the day.

The Merovingian said it best when he said: “How can you ever have time, if never make time?”

I have often been a cheerleader for creating a personal vision, a lofty pie in the sky goal to which one could aspire to, if not always reach. A vision is meant to give direction to human energy. It’s like you can wake up in the morning and know that the things you [...]]]>

I have often been a cheerleader for creating a personal vision, a lofty pie in the sky goal to which one could aspire to, if not always reach. A vision is meant to give direction to human energy. It’s like you can wake up in the morning and know that the things you do that day in some way, shape, or form contribute to moving you toward your vision.

The logic goes that if you have a clear vision, you can streamline your life. When deciding to do something, you can take a slight pause and ask yourself: ‘does this move me toward my vision or does it move me away from my vision?’ If it moves you away from your vision, then you have to ask yourself an additional question: ‘should I be doing this if it takes me further away from vision?’

Creating a compelling vision is the key. You want something that is going to get you out of bed in the morning fired up and ready to face the adventures of the day ahead. Otherwise, what is the point?

I like the words of Chief High Eagle of the Sioux people:

“In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person’s vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone’s heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.”

And as Carl Jung said: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”

My personal vision has always been to master the art of living as echoed in this passage I borrowed from the Zen Text:

“The person who is master in the art of living makes little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their mind and their body, their education and their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence and grace in whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing. To them, they are always doing both.”

Imagine that, to be so in love with life, so in love with what you are doing, who you are with that nobody can tell the difference between your work and your play, your love and your religion, your education and recreation…

That is what I aspire to. That is my vision.

Chief High Eagle hones the final point I want to make: “The mere possession of a vision is not the same as living it, nor can we encourage others with it if we do not, ourselves, understand and follow its truths. To be blessed with visions is not enough…we must live them!”

Repeat the same exercise and imagine the following people:

Your mother Your brother Your sister Your grandfather Your grandmother Your priest, rabbi, pastor, or spiritual leader The first boy/girl you had a crush on

I am on a train headed home after 4 days on the road.  Yesterday was the culminating exercise of the team building event.  We put a 100 people through an Antarctic themed orienteering challenge across Hamburg.  My station was the Hjelper sled assembly and man haul.  In case you are wondering what a hjelper sled [...]]]>

I am on a train headed home after 4 days on the road.  Yesterday was the culminating exercise of the team building event.  We put a 100 people through an Antarctic themed orienteering challenge across Hamburg.  My station was the Hjelper sled assembly and man haul.  In case you are wondering what a hjelper sled is, it is a device that can constructed out of a wounded skiers skis and poles.  There were a total of 30 points spread out across Hamburg.  The overall event was a huge success.  It was intense, but fun.  And the teams got an opportunity to learn more about each other and build relationships to take back into the office.

Hamburg, Lindner Hotel, 23:49hrs – We spent most of the day prepping for the main event which takes place tomorrow.  You can plan only some much from the comfort of your desk, but it isn’t until you get your feet on the actual ground that the plan can be fully realized.  And that is just [...]]]>

Hamburg, Lindner Hotel, 23:49hrs – We spent most of the day prepping for the main event which takes place tomorrow.  You can plan only some much from the comfort of your desk, but it isn’t until you get your feet on the actual ground that the plan can be fully realized.  And that is just the plan, execution of the plan is a whole other story.  I at least got a chance to see some of the city.  Par, one of the facilitators I am working with, and I needed to pick up some last minute supplies – stationary, duct tape, baubles, and something to stop the spikes on the bottom of snowshoes from tearing up the ballroom floor of the St Pauli Football Club.

I am amazed that Hamburg is Germany’s second largest city and yet it doesn’t feel like a big city.  It’s clean, ordered, and the people are friendly.  I must have gotten used to the cold veneer the English put out toward strangers because it shocked me how nearly every German that came in close proximity to me, said hello or guten tag.  Some, it seemed, even went out of their way to say hello. Saying hello to strangers, I think, is a very civilized thing to do, especially when said with genuine enthusiasm.

We prepped right up until 18:00 just in time to give the brief at 18:15 for 100 people.  The briefing took about an hour and the end of the brief marked the beginning of the challenge.  Most everyone seems up for the it.  So let the games begin.